Chapter 2, the moonlight is gentle and faint

I stared blankly in the direction he had disappeared, feeling a sense of loss and recovery.

In fact, every time I see him, I feel quite embarrassed, because I always think of that embrace, which makes me involuntarily blush.

Love is blind, and is marriage not the same?

Gu Mi Yin is merely a spoiled child, and her antics stem from a fear that those who come close will snatch away the lollipop in her hand, when in fact, those who approach only wish to give her a hug

Xia Han laughed heartily, playfully draping her arm around my neck, and said: "I will take you out for a meal, let the little nurse watch over you for a while"

The pursuit of this love story is uncertain as to when it will reach its conclusion

Suddenly, Vanka raised his head and asked, "Do I have words on my face?"

After class, Vanka often stands in the corridor. I am three meters away from him, each of us immersed in our own world of daydreams

It seems that there is a thorn in my heart. One day, my mother asked me: "Xixi, would you be willing to have Guo Yuetian as your stepfather?"

My mother, after much hesitation, finally made a resolute decision and sold the house, taking me to the city by herself. We rented a small house and began a new life.

I shook my head and said, "I don't know..."

Looking at his appearance, I decided to go all out and said: "My name is Su Xi"

At that moment, she unexpectedly blushed

When that man, who was about forty years old, spoke with a downcast expression and expressed his desire to have a home, my mother's tears also welled up in her eyes

There were not many people in the library at noon, and it was very quiet. Vanja and I each took a book and sat by the window at a table, reading in silence, with only the sound of turning pages audible

Finally, Gu Mi Yin's homeroom teacher dragged her back and publicly criticized her over the intercom, stating that she had disrupted school discipline and harassed other students

As soon as she finished speaking, a passing nurse remarked, "Loud talking is prohibited in the hospital"

Meng Xilou twisted open the bottle cap and took a large gulp of water.

It is likely that Gu Mi Yin does not allow him to follow, which is why he behaves this way; Meng Xi Lou's joys and sorrows are all controlled by Gu Mi Yin

I have seen you and know who you are

The last sentence was spoken so lightly

Gu Mi Yin was the most opposed and caused the most commotion. On the first night my mother and I moved into the Gu family, Gu Mi Yin brandished a fruit knife, threatening Gu Yue Tian to make us leave the Gu family, or else she would commit suicide

So you are also a fan of Heidegger..." There was a hint of disbelief in Vanga's eyes

A few days later, my mother brought home a pair of unfamiliar couples and led them to tour the house inside and out. I tugged at her sleeve and eagerly asked, "Mom, are you going to sell the house?"

I do not know whether Vanga spoke, but I heard the boys in the next classroom whistling and making a commotion

Oh... my heart sinks little by little

She trembled as she grasped my hand, her voice quivering as she asked, "Xixi, how are you feeling..."

"Being and Time", a book by Heidegger

Gu Mi Yin is like a ball of fire; anyone who comes close to her will feel the heat

It takes five hours to travel by car from Suhe Town to the city

I was slightly taken aback, as it turned out that Vanka had the same thought, and he even knew my name. If I remember correctly, we had never exchanged names.

Xia Han hurried over, and I sat outside the hospital room waiting for her. Since entering university, Xia Han has changed significantly; she approached in ten-centimeter high heels, making a "thud thud thud" sound with each step, which made me feel both startled and anxious. Her hair was dyed chestnut brown and styled into large waves, exuding a captivating charm, while two silver earrings swayed rhythmically with her movements.

Without raising her head, my mother said while putting down her chopsticks, "I heard that a new wetland park has been built in the city. After your high school entrance examination, I will take you there to have some fun"

I feel extremely unwell all over, and hearing my mother cry makes me even more sorrowful

The exploration of existence, as well as the analysis of temporality and historicity, does not pertain to us in the present. Perhaps the uniqueness of Vanga stems not only from his outstanding appearance but also from that innate quality that sets him apart from others.

Vanjia nodded and said, "Then be careful on your way home"

Within six months, I entered the first year of high school, and my mother found a job as a cashier. Gu Yue Tian has visited a few times, and he and my mother have been chatting and laughing together.

Mother

I walked into the bedroom and found my mother lying on the bed, occasionally emitting low moans. I immediately went to check on her, and her face was flushed. I touched her forehead, and it was alarmingly hot

In fact, I am reluctant to leave. Having lived in Suhe Town for over a decade, I know exactly which alley has the cheapest and most delicious snacks, which accessory store has the most beautiful hair ornaments, and which supermarket offers the best prices. There are too many uncertainties in the city.

Mother has something on her mind

On the other end of the phone, a delicate voice clearly said: "Mr. Gu, come quickly to drink."

At this moment, I am thinking that if Gu Mi Yin and Meng Xi Lou were together, how heartbroken Meng Xi Lou would be. Before Meng Xi Lou appeared, many boys surrounded Gu Mi Yin, but ever since Meng Xi Lou showed up, those who liked Gu Mi Yin could only watch from a distance, never daring to approach, because Meng Xi Lou's fists were always merciless. Anyone who got close to Gu Mi Yin would be beaten up by him. Before Meng Xi Lou appeared, many boys surrounded Gu Mi Yin, but ever since Meng Xi Lou showed up, those who liked Gu Mi Yin could only watch from a distance, never daring to approach, because Meng Xi Lou's fists were always merciless. Anyone who got close to Gu Mi Yin would be beaten up by him.

Perhaps it is because I am not as beautiful as Gu Mi Yin, and unlike her, every move she makes captivates the heart

At this point, my stomach made an untimely noise.

In the afternoon, when school was over, I was packing my backpack to prepare to go home, when unexpectedly, Fan Jia's figure appeared at the classroom door. It was only when I walked out that I realized Gu Mi Yin was following behind him

Mother remains silent

Her pursuit of others became the talk of the entire school. The homeroom teacher criticized her, and the grade director reprimanded her, but she treated it all as mere background noise, continuing to act according to her own ways every day

Many girls in the school like Vanga, but I did not expect that Gu Miyin also likes Vanga

Do you have any insights

Xia Han is my only good friend and the only person who knows my secret, and I have only remembered her phone number

I honestly replied, "I feel unwell..."

If you want to die, just get lost, okay

Later, we returned to Suhe Town. My mother often seemed lost in thought, forgetting to add salt while cooking, and while watching television, her mind wandered to unknown places

"Axi, Gu Mi Yin said that an ice cream shop has opened outside, are you going?" Fan Jia smiled and asked me as I came out

Xia Han's generosity stems from her family, and her catchphrase is that the biggest problem is the one that cannot be solved with money

While waiting for Xia Han to arrive, my mother woke up once. She struggled to ask if Gu Yuetian had come, and I shook my head, saying that perhaps something had delayed him

Vanjia sat directly across from me, intently focused on his book. Observing him from such a close distance, his face was even more captivating, making it difficult to look away.

Gu Mi Yin shot me a fierce glare, her eyes naturally conveying a warning

In any case, he is proficient in everything that bad students do

His brown eyes and hair were different from what I remembered, yet I recognized him immediately

Before I turned fourteen, I had never left Suhe Town, so at that time, I was particularly eager to go out and see the world. During the New Year, many city dwellers returned home, carrying large and small bags, looking resplendent. The neighbors were gossiping about who had made a fortune, whose daughter had married into a good family, and those who returned spoke of how wonderful life in the big city was

"Yue Tian, it is you..." Clearly, Mother's tone also carried a sense of astonishment

How ironic this is, is it not

I hesitated for a moment before awkwardly saying, "Could you lend me a little money..."

When I woke up, I could hear my mother softly sobbing beside me

"Uncle, Mom is sick and in the hospital..." I said anxiously

I thought it was something serious! Any problem that can be solved with money is not a problem. Where are you? I will come right away!

I struggled to rise, standing before the girl, bowing deeply, and said with remorse: "I am sorry..."

Twenty years have passed

Mother's body had stiffened; when she lifted her head and recognized who was before her, the expression on her face was quite nuanced

His preferences differ from those of others; while other boys either hold martial arts novels or sports magazines, he enjoys reading foreign philosophy books

I smiled slightly and said, "The library has his book, so I borrowed it to take a look."

The body keeps sinking down, as if it is about to descend into hell, and the lungs seem as if they are about to explode

I helplessly helped her up and found that every part of her body I touched was burning hot I struggled to support her and slowly made my way out the door to hail a taxi my heart was filled with anxiety and despair

My fondness for the city has long since faded over these three years. The city is like those glamorous individuals, forever unaware of the darkness that lies behind.

He was immersed in another world, so he did not notice me

Thus, we moved into the Gu family. My mother and Gu Yuetian obtained a marriage certificate, without a wedding or a banquet for guests

I refuse to shed tears in front of Mengxi Tower, lest he mock me

When the class bell rang, Vanka and I returned to our respective classes

One day we will ultimately die, and if there is no evidence that we ever existed, then death is the best proof

If I have changed, how much more so has Meng Xilou changed

Regardless of whether Gu Mi Yin was willing or not, my mother and I still decided to stay. In order to prevent Gu Yue Tian from worrying, I did not tell him about any of the grievances.

Is it time to leave this world

But... are you willing to part with this place?

After class, I encountered him more often. When I see him again, I smile, and he responds with a smile in kind. Eventually, he greets me with a smile, saying, "You are here again..."

I found myself unconsciously wandering to the convenience store to buy a bottle of water, and then I crossed the basketball court and sat down beside him

That look made me instinctively shrink back.

Meng Xilou no longer recognizes me, or perhaps he has long forgotten the person who once embraced him. The human mind has its limitations, and the people and events it can remember are too few.

Compared to losing my mother, the grievances I have suffered may not be anything at all.

The biggest takeaway is probably the understanding of death.

Since the political class started teaching philosophy, I have also gone to the library to look up books about philosophy. There is a sentence from Heidegger that left a deep impression on me - ambiguity is an inherent virtue of wisdom.

How do you know my name is Su Xi

A girl struggled to break free from the man's hands, shouting, "She killed my mother, she killed my mother..." She squatted on the ground, hugging her knees, burying her head and crying, "I want my mother..."

Seeing his displeasure, I hurriedly said "I am sorry"

What should I do...

Now she is also in her third year of high school, and her grades are just as terrible. As for me, I am in a repeat class, and people jokingly refer to me as part of the "fourth-year group"

Meng Xilou's expression suddenly changed; he abruptly raised his hand and splashed the water aside, his eyes filled with blatant disgust as he shouted: "Get away from me!"

When she woke up, she probably hoped to see him. After all, her mother had been lonely for too long, and her inner longing had been completely hidden.

Well, goodbye. I waved my hand, no longer disturbing them, and turned to leave

The last trace of consciousness in my mind has also vanished

Since Gu Miyin confessed to Fan Jia, she began a fervent pursuit. Every day after class, she would run to the window to greet Fan Jia. Each day, she would give Fan Jia a note and a small gift, on which she wrote a beautiful line of poetry. If it were ancient times, Gu Miyin would surely become Li Qingzhao

The unknown world is always mysterious and beautiful.

I can't remember what happened afterwards.

Gu Mi Yin has always been efficient and decisive in everything she does, even when it comes to liking someone. As for me, I can only quietly gaze, as if I am incapable of doing anything.

The girl outside suddenly rushed in, pushed my mother aside, and fiercely grabbed my hair

Mother asked with concern: "Where do you feel uncomfortable? Quickly tell me, and I will call the doctor."

With a "plop," I fell into the lake, and water surged in from all directions; in that moment, my vision became a blur

Xia Han stood up, pulled the nurse aside, handed her the thermos, pointed to the ward, and said: "Could you please help watch over her for a while? If the patient wakes up, please feed her some congee. We will be away for a while and will return in forty minutes"

Meng Xilou does not need me, so I did not linger for too long, fearing that he would dislike me even more

I finally managed to get my mother to the hospital, then registered her and completed the admission procedures. My mother is lying on the hospital bed receiving an IV drip. The doctor said that if she had been brought to the hospital any later, she might have developed pneumonia. Only then did I let out a sigh of relief and glanced out the window; it was already getting dark.

After Mom and Gu Yuetian got married, the happiest time might have been the first two months. Gu Yuetian always went along with Mom at first, but later, he often socialized outside and came back very late, with a strong smell of powder on him. He also didn't care about Mom's birthday. But Mom never said anything and silently did what she should do.

Vanjia always smiles as he receives gifts and notes, then sincerely says thank you. No matter what Gu Miyin asks him to do, he agrees without ever refusing. It is estimated that they will be together soon. This is what the girl sitting in front of me recounted from a girl in the next class.

I awkwardly sniffed and then joked, "I know your name is Vanga, because you are indeed a well-known handsome guy."

In the senior year of high school, a teaching building housed the fourth-year students in four classrooms located in the corner of the third floor, and the classroom I attended was adjacent to the one for the Vankia students

I looked at Vanga, shook my head and said, "I am sorry, I have other matters to attend to, you may go."

She looked up and glared at me fiercely, questioning in a harsh voice: "Just because you said sorry, does that mean my mother can come back? You might as well just die!"

When I returned from the restroom, Vanga was already standing in the corridor, his figure blending with the light and shadow, appearing quite unreal. As I passed by him, I heard him murmuring: "That flower has withered..."

Suddenly, I heard my mother scream, and my body was jolted by something, causing me to lean forward involuntarily, right towards the lake.

"Since she is not going, then let us go," Gu Mi Yin urged from the side

During dinner time, my mother suddenly asked, "Xi Xi, do you like the city or not?"

Please call me the next time you go to the library

I paused, and with a thought, I said: "To live towards death. Death is the most inherent possibility; it is the true nature of humanity. In fact, flowers are the same; death is also a way to affirm their existence"

It turns out that I was already lying on the hospital bed

He hung up the phone after he finished speaking

When I saw him take the water, my tears finally stopped.

It's all your fault! My mother died, it's all your fault! Why don't you go die? Why don't you just die? The girl grabbed my hair and cursed hysterically, tears streaming down her face.

Xi Xi, with your grades, you can attend the best high school in the city. We have sold the house; let us move to the city to live.

I broke free from my mother's hand, ran to the lakeside, and greedily gazed at everything, looking at this place that did not belong to me

Before leaving, I specifically took my mother's phone, but until now, there hasn't been a single call. I hesitated whether to give Gu Yuetian a call, but then I reconsidered and abandoned that thought.

Xia Han was already very beautiful, and after such a dressing up, she became even more radiant and charming

In Gu Mi Yin's eyes, there is only Fan Jia; in Meng Xi Lou's eyes, there is only Gu Mi Yin; in my eyes, there is only Meng Xi Lou

Alas, it is all fate... Gu Yuetian's final long sigh resonated with a particularly sorrowful tone in the hospital room

Alright

I took two hearty bites of rice

On the way out of the school gate, I passed by the basketball court, which is particularly lively during the break. I inadvertently saw Meng Xilou sitting alone under the basketball hoop, her gaze seemingly lost in thought.

Axi? I am somewhat unaccustomed to this form of address, as it seems I am not familiar enough with Vankia to warrant it.

Such an incident occurred ... ... I am sorry ... ...

Xi Xi, do you know? Just now I tried to hail a cab, and that driver actually asked me if I was going to a bar. " She sat next to me, cursing and complaining, while handing over the thermos she was holding, " I brought porridge for my aunt...

Xia Han has always spoken this way, not at all like a young lady of a wealthy family. She has a fiery temper, but she has a kind heart

I have also seen many girls boldly give love letters to Vanga, who always smiles as he accepts the letters and then says "Thank you"

It turns out that the two individuals are actually old acquaintances

I really want to say, "I like the city and want to live in the city," but my mother is truly too tired on her own

Seeing my mother's haggard face, I still decided to call Gu Yuetian

I nodded with a smile, and the unnatural feelings gradually faded away. Vanga loves to read, and whenever I pass by their classroom on my way to the restroom, I unconsciously steal a glance. Vanga's seat is next to the corridor, so I can see clearly what book he is holding in his hands

I am in my second year of high school, while Mengxilou is in their first year.

Her eyes gradually darkened, and finally she closed them and fell into a deep sleep. It was already 10 o'clock at night, and my stomach was growling with hunger.

Su Xi, it's been a pleasure chatting with you.

Summer Han said loudly, "Who dares to scold me?"

Mother tightly embraced me in her arms and deeply bowed, saying, "I'm sorry..."

This scene hit my heart hard, leaving a big gap and making me inexplicably feel sad. Some things in Meng Xilou haven't changed, such as his current loneliness and sadness.

When the phone call was made to Xiahan, she seemed to be sleeping.

You are A-Yin's younger sister

What else did that nurse want to decline? Xia Han insisted on giving it to her, and then she happily pulled me away.

Oh, it's you... alright, I understand. Let's discuss this later, as I am really busy right now

When I handed him the water, he finally came to his senses.

Meng Xilou said with a stern face, "Do you not have eyes?"

Therefore, every time I see Gu Mi Yin coming to find Fan Jia, Meng Xi Lou is always following behind. Gu Mi Yin and Fan Jia are happily chatting about something, while Meng Xi Lou merely stands silently to the side, his gaze fixed on her, filled with both infatuation and sadness

If I were a boy, I would also like Gu Mi Yin.

Mother said that an aunt saved me, but when I was rescued, she was unable to rise. By the time those who could swim arrived, that aunt had already drowned

Yes, in life there are so many things that are beyond our control.

During class dismissal, I enjoy standing in the corridor and admiring the scenery. Our school is located at a relatively high position, so we can see far away. Sometimes, I foolishly think how wonderful it would be if I could fly to those places.

Later, every week I would hear on the radio reports criticizing Meng Xilou for what misdeeds he had done, either beating students, climbing over walls, or cheating.

When I went out, I forgot to bring my wallet, and the only change I had on me was used to handle the registration procedures. I haven't eaten anything until now, so I had no choice but to call Xia Han for help

The wetland park is vast and beautiful, possibly due to its recent development, there are not many people. In the center of the park lies a clear lake, the sky is azure, and the lake water is also azure, creating a scene where everything appears to be in shades of blue.

Meng Xilou's way of liking someone is also very simple, which is to follow her.

Meng Xilou had a fierce expression, as if he had seen my tears. His demeanor softened slightly, and then he snatched the water away, saying: "You girls cry at the slightest provocation, it really is troublesome"

Mom, who was originally burying her head and crying, surprisedly lifted her head, revealing her red and swollen eyes.

Quiet moments always make people easily think of Suhe Town, and also make people easily think of Mengxi Building, with Mengxi Building's eyes imprinted between the lines.

Due to being too close with Fang Jia, many rumors were spread by the surrounding classmates. However, I didn't care and remained unbothered, as a clear conscience fears no slander.

The death of a stranger has granted me life, and from that moment on, I carry another life upon my shoulders

Chatting with Vanga is a very pleasant experience; he understands everything I say, and I comprehend everything he says. I do not know why, but conversing with him feels very effortless

I shook my head, my face slightly red, and said, "You look pretty."

This book should not be read at this age

As soon as I saw the person in front of me, I recognized him

"You should drink some water," I said kindly

You are the famous top student in the grade. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Fānjiā.

I do not blame him

And Meng Xilou met again at the school gate. He rode his motorcycle speeding towards me, while I was deep in thought and didn't notice the approaching motorcycle at all. It wasn't until a long screeching sound of brakes that the motorcycle stopped about thirty centimeters away from me, and I finally snapped back to reality.

He is very busy, indulging in a life of extravagance outside, while neglecting his sick wife

After a long and arduous journey, I finally arrived in the city. Looking at the towering skyscrapers, I felt as if I were merely a grain of sand in the vast ocean, so insignificant

Mom

I saw the tears in Gu Mi Yin's eyes, and I also saw the hatred in her eyes.

During dinner, I mindlessly said to my mother, "Mom, I want to see what the city is like"

Xi Xi, you better have a very good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep, otherwise I will definitely have someone throw you into the men's bathroom

I was about to answer when I saw a resentful gaze shooting through the crack at the door, as if it wanted to tear me apart. Through the gap, I saw a girl standing outside the door who seemed to be around the same age as me.

Gu Mi Yin has ample reason to hate me, as her mother died in order to save me

No matter how many girls like Vanja, no matter how many rumors are spread, Vanja will wait for me at the classroom door after lunch and then go to the library with me.

Gu Miying continued to say loudly, "Fanjia, I am worthy of you!"

I was slightly stunned, then moved aside to make way. He rode his motorcycle into the school gate at high speed, and even the security guards couldn't stop him, causing people on the road to scream repeatedly.

I want to say "unwilling", but seeing the expectant look in my mother's eyes and the white hair that unknowingly emerged from her hair, I replied, "As long as you like it."

Over the years, I have repeatedly reviewed and pondered why I should feel sorry for him and embrace him. I am afraid of forgetting his eyes and eyebrows, so I often recall his face.

Girls passing by often whisper in admiration: "Wow, so handsome..."

Upon hearing this, I couldn't help but shiver.

Perhaps true wisdom is indescribable.

Mother's lips turned pale, her whole body was covered in cold sweat, and she was damp all over.

She is unhappy, but whenever I ask her why she is unhappy, she always says, "Life is always full of helplessness."

She is much more pitiful than me, so it is only natural for her to bully me no matter what.

What do you need to discuss later? I'm busy. That's it, I'm hanging up!

The middle-aged man was slightly stunned, then slowly called out, "Xiuxue..."

When I got home, Gu Yuetian was not there, and Gu Mi Yin had not returned either. As usual, Mom should have been watching TV dramas at home. However, when I got home, Mom was not in the living room.

However, I do not understand why that silent boy has become so irritable and so arrogant

The feeling of being disliked by the one you love is truly difficult to describe; it is a profound sense of heartache and sorrow

My heart suddenly lifted, could it be that he remembered me?

I dialed Gu Yueting's phone number and his tone was very unpleasant.

I was stunned by Meng Xilou's sudden movement and stood still on the spot, then tears swirled in my eyes.

I blushed and said in a low voice, "This is a hospital. Be careful not to get scolded by the nurses even though I am touched by how thoughtful you are."

One day after class, I heard Gu Mi Yin loudly calling Fan Jia's name in the corridor outside, and shamelessly asked, "Fan Jia, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

I couldn't help but let out a sarcastic smile

Thank you.

Memories can make people age, I am only in my teens, but I feel like I have experienced a lifetime.

After the middle school entrance examination, my mother indeed fulfilled her promise and took me to the city. I sat on the bus, swaying and looking at the unfamiliar scenery. The ripening rice fields, the abundant lotus leaves, the continuous tea mountains, and the endless greenery all amazed me. Every flower and blade of grass surprised me, and even a passing bird brought me joy.

I haven't reacted yet, and a middle-aged man walked in from outside the door. He walked over quickly and pulled the girl away, saying, "Gu Mi Yin, stop making a scene!"

I held my trembling mother tightly, unsure of what to do.

For the first time, I developed a longing for the city.

Gu Yuetian looked at Gu Miying, who was jumping and playing around, sighed softly, and said, "Yinyin, you have driven away several people in the past six months. I am really tired. I just want you to have a complete family, and I also want a home..."

On the way to the library together, there were already girls whispering and pointing, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. However, Fan Jia had a calm expression on his face. Seeing him like this, I couldn't help but straighten my back.